FEATURE ARTICLE

If Chinese New Year animals could play paintball….

It's almost Chinese New Year 2015 and after our recent Animal's that would be awesome at paintball article I can't help but wonder which Chinese New Year animal would win in a paintball battle against each other.

Why don't we find out?

Chinese New Year celebrations

Chinese New Year goat

The Goat

Let's start with the Chinese New Year symbol for 2015. Sadly the goat doesn't possess any special advantages in the paintball field. By the time the other animals have finished with him he will look like a multi coloured cashmere jumper. Lose.

Chinese New Year horse

The Horse

Easily the fastest of our Chinese animal symbols. He will move around that paintball field without getting out of breath. Unfortunately his size will be his undoing and he will be easily spotted by the others. Lose.

Chinese New Year cockrel

The Rooster

The only thing that this multi coloured bird would bring to the table would be his constant cock-a-doodling at 9.15am, which is handy because that is also when the paintballing games start. Lose.

Chinese New Year dog

The Dog

Man's best friend will be too distracted trying to fetch the paintballs and grenades in the game zone, so he won't stand a chance. At least he will enjoy the constant supply of free tea and coffee when he gets out of breath. Lose.

Chinese New Year pig

The Pig

No advantage what so ever. The pig would spend all of his time eating food from the shop. Once done with the food he will be too busy rolling around on the floor to care about scoring points in the game zones. Lose.

Chinese New Year ox

The Ox

As strong as an ox... but like some others on this list, the ox is too easy to spot and therefore too easy to take down. At least no one will be gloating in front of him... if they know what's good for them...Lose.

Chinese New Year rabbit

The Rabbit

He can jump out the way of even the fastest paintballs.  Also with all those carrots, his eyesight will be far superior than his opponents. His main disadvantage is the grass; it will be too tempting to eat. So while he is munching away he will be an easy take down. Lose.

Chinese New Year tiger

The Tiger

The perfect predator. Gifted with fearsome hunting skills and natural camouflage, the tiger would win hands down, if only he could pick up a paintball gun....Lose.

 Chinese New Year dragon

The Dragon

He would dominate the paintball field with his fire breath and fearsome roar, he could also soar into the sky and escape the the paintball fire from the others as he picks them off one by one. Unfortunately he would also get disqualified for taking his paintball gun out of the game zones. Lose.

Chinese New Year rat

The Rat

So small and nimble he will dodge those paintballs with ease. Unfortunately his love for snacks and cheese pizza will be his undoing and he will get locked away in one of the basecamp lockers. Lose.

Chinese New Year snake

The Snake

His main advantage would be his ability to hide unseen in the grass.  But with no legs to walk with and no arms for holding the gun, he'd be an easy target once spotted. Lose.

Chinese New Year monkey

The Monkey

Not only does he have a massive advantage swinging through the trees, he's also the only animal on this list that has opposable thumbs. With a firm grip on his gun at the top of the highest tree, the Monkey will win hands down with his awesome sniper skills. WINNER!

Think you could do better?

Give us a call on 0844 477 5115* to secure a booking at your nearest Delta Force Paintball Centre and see if you can play paintball better than a monkey!

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Craig Tetlow
Craig Tetlow
4 months ago

This is a brilliant day out for a group of people. The staff are excellent and enthusiastic about giving the players a good day. The games are well set up and are fun.

Aylar Jafari
Aylar Jafari
4 months ago

Amazing paintball experience! The staff were friendly, the fields were exciting, and the games were full of fun and adrenaline. Definitely coming back!

Nathan
Nathan
4 months ago

What a fantastic afternoon. Staff were funny and really helpful… explained the rules clear as crystal and got us underway and into the games rapidly. Game maps were great too.

Papa Shaq
Papa Shaq
4 months ago

Enjoyed my time there, great safety briefing and proper nice time

Godwin A
Godwin A
4 months ago

Manager was a great host, he offered exceptional service and explained everything thoroughly. Definitely coming back

Jermaine Amaze
Jermaine Amaze
5 months ago

Great experience. Had fun with my family